A colleague at work decided to tell the story of their fun, rural youth.
The whole team was lying after the first sentence:.
- The bear, somehow, I was a drunken fight.
As a child, my mother forbade me to speak with unknown. Therefore, the equation had to deal with silence.
If scaring ostrich every 15 centimeters behind it you can plant potatoes!.
Sarcasm - is the ability to praise a person in such a way that it hurt for a long time.
One of my very close friend once issued:.
- You know what charm? .
- So you want to come after me prince on a white horse!.
- No, I'm better off without a horse.
- Yes, what are you doing, it's so romantic!.
- Yeah, but in practice you not only that this pryntsa sits on the neck, so also for the manure shovel loshadyukoy it will be!.
- I bought recently, multi- audio player, so it is like our football team.
- What sucks?.
- On the contrary - loses everything!.
SAI carries out the action: Collect one hundred portraits of President Grant - get your rights back.
Constitution of Moldova, the first paragraph - put wallpaper without bubbles.
There is a growing economic exchange between Russia and France: the French are sending us perfume that you can drink, and we give them vodka, from which the shadows under the eyes.
In cold weather, street artists have quickly run out of the blue pencil.
Lift or something, for strength of will?.
Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man built a fire and burned down last log does not, he will take it as a personal insult.
- I want to enter the top ten most beautiful women in Russia!.
- Can you imagine, I also. As a man of course.
- Why do you have alcohol?.
Wipe - Strings.
- What are the strings?.
- Strings of the soul!.
- Listen, I want to make a great film!.
- You have a little human, that you last time with the premiere of ' Avatar ' with a video camera fired?.
- Dad, but as people used to do without elevators?.
- Yes, it was full of public toilets.
The family is sitting at the table, dinner. The son does not want to have.
My father tells him: ' Come quickly eat a pussy you will not grow '.
Mom: ...
Maria Ivanovna long talks in class about the purpose of life and.
destiny of man, and then asks: - Children.
What would you like people to say about you at your funeral?.
Petechka: - I would like people to say that I was a great doctor,.
I saved so many people and cured so many children.
- Good for you, Petechka, and you Manetchka?.
Manya: - I would like them to say that I was a wonderful wife,.
mother and grandmother that I loved it all.
- Good for you, Manya. Well, Little Johnny, and you wanted to hear at my funeral?.
- Look! .
My grandmother still remembers cordless irons.
Generalizing the anthropometric data, British researchers found that the average size of the problems that men on the ** th considerably larger than average size of the problems that women up to Au ***.
' I am engaged in inventory and revaluation of spiritual values. '.
... '.
'Is the list for the killer, you wrote. '.
' I collect nuclear charge, you must have a pound of plutonium. You do not? '.
And how you respond to the ICQ the question: ' Why are not you asleep? '.
On the women's forum:.
We all zoofilki and pervert. begin to meet the ... And finish with the ...
Man, normally cares for football, suddenly sat down to watch some of the women's sports.
Five minutes from the kitchen ran an angry wife:.
- * Who * Lyadiny Banay?!.
night. A woman gets out of bed, tiptoed to her boudoir fit.
Open the box, there are vibrators of various sizes.
With tenderness, looking at them, whisper sings: - sleep tired toys.
- Yes you Zakolebal me! .
- I will!.
-. okay. to hell with you!.
In an interview guide AvtoVAZ voted that AvtoVAZ - a living organism.
They do not understand how they were right. This organism eats metal, glass,.
plastic and rubber, and output it as in any living organism.
The village, the dead of night. In the window at the house heard the sound of cautious. The owner of swearing to the window.
- Who brought it easy?.
- The owner of the wood needed?.
- Yes, you will go. No, do not need.
The owner wakes up in the morning - no wood.
I tell my son: - You are so waving a bouquet when your class at school, wound up, the flowers could go wrong!.
- No, I have not broken. All four gave roses!.
How - four? .
The son calmly: Fifth - my classmate still on the line broke. And I threw it.
I'm shocked.
- Mom, what are you looking at me? .
1: I want to eat. weld to itself right now, the water, the ambassador, toss mayonnaise, disturbing, and sing.
2: Yes I already sent the money. go verify.
1: Thank you, Dad.
Girls lie, lie to one side, we have to cross, because the boys took the girls 10 7 to 0.5.
The village, night. In the garden sits a UFO. From the house comes out and sees a man that climbs out of the UFO alien: the head is triangular, the legs - to 12 fingers, each finger - the ring with a diamond.
- Who are you?.
- ET.
- And what do you, aliens, all triangular heads?.
- Yes.
- And all the legs of 12 fingers?.
- Yes.
- And everyone on every finger - the ring with a diamond?.
- Do not. This is only the Jews.
Old age begins when starting to like all women, not just part of the.
Communication in ICQ.
She: Well, all I have to shit a good night.
He said: )))) )))) )))) )))) )))) ))).
She: Oh, I'm pissed!.
He said: )))) )))) )))) )))).
on the table a note from mom: ...
Dad 's not home. I'm worried.
In the subway interesting young woman tells a man passionately in looking at it:.
- A young man, put me, I go to the next stop!.
Look through the headlines - ' porn sites are losing their popularity '!.
Thought, oh well, that you really just my week has been loaded with work.
Prophetic Oleg came to the wise men and said:.
- You are caught up in luxury, Oleg! .
Oleg looked at the golden cups, carpets Bulgar, Byzantine arms.
- I do not remember - sigh Oleg. - Probably, for the love of things!.
Realized that the reason for the extremely low accident rate on country roads due to their special form- factor - the ' graveyard of police lying '!.
Knowing about the plight of Aboriginal people, the great maritime powers of Europe sent them with humanitarian aid. The most famous was a humanitarian expedition of James Cook.
Why get married? .
In the sex shop:.
- Excuse me, citizen, but we simply are not available, and 128 man-.
members! .
- I heard that in order to not worry, we have to put all @ uy! .
on a small salary - one on the head - a.
Hunting of polar bears in Norway is not prohibited. But conservationists.
Noise does not raise. Because hunting is allowed without a weapon, and any.
hardware.
During the battle with the windmills Don Quixote accidentally killed Carlson.
Advertising: ' Ekstrakorporativnoe fertilization! .
corporate party! '.
Pigweed Ivanna on physics lesson:.
- Little Johnny is in principle in your work, all right, but Gay Lussac is the name.
own, and not sexual orientation is a scientist.
xxx: I can not even imagine what my son needs to do what I would have told him that in my youth I did not allow such a.
There are those who bear the chaos and destruction, there are those whose burden is - love is good and. There are some that are order and justice. And there I. I carry a bag.
Such a beautiful day, I do not know whether to drink tea, or hang.
Yes, fall in love - that's fine. Especially if I.
Paradise is the three letters, which no one is sent.
Get out in English. Do not wait until you send in Russian.
Diving to great depths, remember that air supply is limited! .
Only when the first monkey at the dawn of civilization, picked up a stick, others began to work.
Red wine is good for health. A healthy you need to drink vodka.
Summer in Sochi, just two problems - it is buried and dysentery. Therefore, there are two slogans: ...
- You have heard that the Earth is flying over a giant meteor!.
- Games, we are not in danger, we are from New York for 15,000 miles.
In the inscription on the clinic 's office urologist:.
' It just CAN NOT go to show off! '.
Heading into Friday night - you never know to what you get back home Monday.
We can not say so at the same time it turned out beautifully, intelligently and honestly.
She: - Well, what color my eyes?.
He: - Third -sized.
Young, beautiful devyshka without complexes will sell two carloads of cement.
